Balancing Act

Amanda is getting to the point where she asks more and more often why? Why is my brother acting this way? Why does he talk nonstop (and I do mean nonstop, in circles, round and round the same subject)? Will he ever grow out of it? Why does he get so upset so quickly?

I have explained to her that everyone's brain works differently and his works a little more differently than the average person. We have talked about how it does not mean he isn't as smart or as talented as anyone else, it's just that he approaches life differently. But it's hard sometimes for her to understand. Especially when we've listened to a lengthy lecture on playing cards for the fifty eleventh time today.

And there are also the times when she feels that he is getting special treatment. When she has to be extra careful not to overwhelm him when he's on edge. There are times when she has to try to understand that he is not deliberately annoying her, and times when he freezes up when she's talking to him and she has to understand that he's not trying to ignore her and she just needs to give him a few minutes. And of course there are the times when a meltdown happens and she sometimes feels like he is not given the consequences he should have.

Yesterday Amanda and I spent a whole afternoon in the kitchen cooking together. No interruptions. Austin was watching TV and playing games on the computer. I realized again how important these times are when I simply focus on her and we spend time together doing the things she loves.

Sometimes she needs some "special" treatment too. Maybe a surprise treat just for her, a compliment when she's not expecting it. A reminder that she's just as important and special as her brother. And she definitely does deserve a big thank you for being as patient a sister as she is.

Every day is a balancing act but we are working on finding, as much as possible, the balance that works for all of us.